The Locked Box
78End of a perfect day, after our picnic –
the forest so alive - and so were we -
anticipation bubbling –
(took my eye off you for a moment)
When in a clearing, I found a box –
locked tight – no key –
(and not liking mysteries)
I tried but couldn’t open it.
What’s a box doing locked?
Keeping people out?
Or keeping something hid -
buried deep inside?
Should I keep it or discard it?
Was this a challenge? Was it a test?
(Not liking to be kept from something...)
I smashed the box with a rock –
no difference –
it lay awkward and damaged –
refusing to yield its secret.
I was curious so I took it back to our clearing –
but you had disappeared –
(and not liking to sit and wait about)
I fumbled with the lock and a hair pin
To no avail.
Beautiful old wood and rusty metal.
Sun re-canting its raison d’etre –
and trees were closing ranks -
(and not liking to stay out late in
the evening chill - )
I could not find you, so I
took the box home.
Halfway through supper you
rang me.
“Where are you?” I asked –
the line was bad, but you were
distant and confused –
you were in a strange twilight place –
and feeling lost with no way out -
then you said you needed me.
You were crying and upset –
(and not liking to hear you cry,
and suddenly knowing what to do
because I love you -)
I put on my coat and grabbed the box –
drove back to the forest through the rain –
I found our clearing – now a swamp –
left the box there and went
looking for you –
I called your name – I called
it a hundred times –
worried sick, I got the torch from the car –
when I turned and there you were.
disheveled, wet and confused.
We kissed and hugged like crazy –
it was a relief to find you –
I fussed like anything and put you
in the car.
“Where were you?” I asked finally –
we had become separated - you got stuck in a dark strange space –
you felt lost - alone and confused – but after a time
you heard my voice and
(your eyes are beautiful when you look at me)
now we found each other.
Making sure we had everything – I said
“let’s go home, baby” – feeling a
warm wave of love coming from you,
as you snuggled on my shoulder,
I kissed you again -
and we headed back.
(And not liking to leave out anything –
I didn’t bother with the box -
I knew it would be open anyway...)
Copyright (c) 2011 Cathy Nerujen. All rights reserved. Taken from a soon-to-be-published poetry collection by Cathy Nerujen. Do not copy.
The inspiration for this poem came from a conversation with hubber Blaise25, also known as Marifel Dungo, poet and good friend, and with Cassy (Cheeky Girl). I laboured over this (at first, non-romantic) poem for several days. Producing nothing I liked, and not feeling that rhyme suited the subject, I threw it down in frustration, and did something else. Call it writer's block, but thankfully, later on Mother's Day, whilst enjoying our day out, I had the inspiration and I wrote it again, very differently. My mother's recounting of my getting lost in a forest as a kid, was the inspiration for this poetry, (a story that everyone found very funny) when the one who got lost had been me. Thankfully I lived to tell the tale. I changed things around and reversed characters, as poetic license and imagination allows.
The locked box is a "trope" for something, but that is for you to discover, as I want to let you enjoy the puzzling here, so thanks for reading this. Thanks to you Mum, and Marifel and Cassy as always, and this is dedicated to you all.
Please leave a comment and let me know what you think...
vote upvote downshareprintflag
- Useful (3)
- Funny
- Awesome (12)
- Beautiful (12)
- Interesting
CommentsLoading...
The wonderful thing about your writing Cathy is the point of love from which you write - just incredible!!
Perhaps, I'm wrong, but the box seems like a part of my life, the ADD type that I am.
I'm easily distracted and passionate too - I often find little lost boxes where I give my all too, and yet I always realize so slow, my sweetest wife Robin, has yet again been left all alone in the dew.
But a quick note I must say, my friend, she's always there true, and much like your love my friend, a bit disheveled and blue, but I always do find her again having finally a clue...
Voted up and awesome, my friend..
Oh wow Cathy I have so missed you. This is fantastic and so worth waiting for. Love shines through everything doesn't it?!
Thank you Cathy. Currently, I'm spending much quality time with Robin and she's doing well. Your right she certainly deserves to be spoiled...
Thanks again, my friend... :)
Yes, an interesting mystery. Perhaps one locked inside the of the mind.
Awesome, and I felt that I was right their with you. Tell Cassy I love, and I love your poem. Rate up love & peace darski
Wow I am lost for words. So beautiful! So haunting and I was right all along. The locked box is a port key. A thing when touched you'll be taken to another place and time. Then you'll wonder who you are..what you want. Then it would feel like you want to stay..suddenly you're lost. Feels like you left something but the fact is they've been there all along. The locked box may be a symbol of hidden secrets or wishes, too. I told you sweetie, my imagination is insane LOL
Anyway, this is once again one of the best poetry I would love to read again and again along with my favorites :) And I am keeping this inside my special box. ;D It's not locked btw. I am lame with keys. LOL
Thanks so much for dedicating this to me, too. Did your mom read it already? It's golden forever. :) Mwah!
Me rating up though beautiful and awesome aren't enough :)
the box wasnt really a box...but a symbol of the treasure you already had. the moment you realized she was lost and needed your help you realized how important this person was to you, therefore opening the box without even knowing it.
hehe yay i'm smart! lol some poetry may never be figured out, but only for the poet who wrote it to know its true meaning.
You've polished it perfectly. :) So beautiful. Your poetry always capture the readers to the scene. I felt like I've been there. Felt like you kissed me. ^,^
Your parents would love this for sure especially your mum :) XO
:) The locked box is a super amazing subject. Did I really what? lol ^,^ That's Minka, my owl. :D Hmmm you did? Sweet! Heh! Aw, send my TLC to your mom. Hopes she read mine :)
Wow, happy for you. My sisters just read my book. Would be happier if they read my hubs, too. lol XO
...well I don't need to unlock that mystery box ....because I have you!!!!! And with every great writer - less is more - and you allow me to 'fire' up my own imagination!
Great poem, and totally engaging. I love metaphors, and this is one of the best.
I like the little parenthetical remarks that tells us about yourself and what drives you to do things.
Awesome. A really beautiful tale. Sorry for being so late coming to this poem. All the best comments have been said.
Take care xx
Good read, Astra Nomik, although i'm still waiting know what was in that box, lol...
Astra, this poem is fabulous, as are you. I always love reading you and don't do enough of it.
bravo
up/awesome/beautiful and shared
kiss
Not a wasted word. Beaitiful!!!
i felt like i was inside of this piece. worthy of publication, no doubt.
Beautiful writing Astra. You're a great writer. Can't wait to see new poetry from you. :)
Babe, did you digitally remaster this or something? This is beautiful!!!!!
The photos are stunning! The Locked Box is superb! Going to put on Facebook! Need to share this awesomeness! :D
I loved the metaphor of the box, and getting lost in the woods did a lot for my imagination. But what I really loved was the ending, made me smile. And we all thank you for all the love you put in the world.
Gee..this is fantastic! Truly a gifted writer, this is a masterpiece. Love it so much Astra.
Voted up and all.
This awesome, came across it quite by accident and enjoyed what was a fantastic read, you write so well :)
You always find ways to touch my heart, and send the world swirling before me.
How lucky I am to have found and your work
-Nika *
Oh my gosh! let me correct myself
*How lucky I am to have found you* and your work*
Sorry! lol. Must've been typing so fast..
It is weird, but its different; and sweet.
I dont like secrets either; its wonderful.
:Hugs back tightly:
Hmm Ill have to check out Charlotte Gainsbourg on youtube when I have the chance.
I hope you've enjoyed your weekend and is prepared for the work-week ahead...
Im not! lol.
ttys
-Nika
Very beautiful, captivating mystery, engaging metaphorical labyrinth, so clever! Love it a lot =)































bellawritter23 Level 4 Commenter 13 months ago
This was a great write I enjoyed every word, had me guessing the whole time I wanted the box to open!!
smiles :)
bella